Some people made good decisions, some people make bad decisions, everyone has a choice, everyone knows what's right and what is wrong... sometimes we do what we think is right, sometimes we do what we think is cool, what will make us one of the cool guys, but not all of our choices are the best, not all of them will keep us safe, not all of them are right, not all of them everyone will agree with you on and not everyone will keep your secret choices a secret, no matter what you threaten them with.
I was given a secret by someone very dear to me today, and it scared me to death when I heard it. I told Chris about it and I even talked to my 10 year old daughter Kya about it... what should I do, should I say something, this really bothers me, how can I not say something, what if something happens one day? I was extreemly worried about this person last night, so much that I was looking up at all kinds of articles on line, web md, everything, I couldn't barely sleep last night thinking about her. I woke up this morning thinking about her... and finally this person told me what was wrong... and I was floored.
So, I guess I was saved of the worry of choosing weather or not to say something... Chris said something. And I concurred, I finished the story and told the person that needed to know. Now it blows up in my face, this very dear person to me doesn't want to talk to me anymore, has cussed me out via text and is utterly pissed off.
I can only hope that this person that is so dear to my heart will learn, she has made mistakes before... very dangerous mistakes... mistakes that almost killed her less than 2 months ago. If someone needs to be blamed I guess it can be me, if there is someone she needs to be made at, I guess it can be me. But one day this person will wake up and realise that I didn't do this to get her in trouble, I didn't do this because I don't care, I didn't do this because I lie, I didn't do this for any other reason than because I love her very much and I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I am a fire fighter and I don't want to respond to that call and scrape her off of the highway. I don't want her to get in with the wrong crowd. I don't want her to do these things to be cool. I don't want her to be this person. I want her to be a good person, make good choices, be a good person and this is not the way to do it. So be mad at me if you want... but honestly I know I made the right decision... I made the right choice... so I don't care!
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I being the one she choose to tell. Also, was floored. I received a phone call---mommy---crying--i threw up today at school and i don't feel good. Oh my gosh, I rushed through with my patient and left work in a hast. Got home Heck I have a 12 lead ekg machine--She has been sick over the past week-- I though omg has this strep gone to her heart--I did a EKG--Listened to her heart with my stethscope--ok lets go to the ER. No, mommy I do not want to go... Ok she rested in bed as I stayed close. Only to be faced with her as white as a ghost 2 hrs later. Oh god what is going on.. She said I am going to be sick...Oh no, I called Melinda, called Grama, called my sister who had compazine for vomiting, I rush over get it give it to her.. She gets better. It was as if she was well.
THE EXTREME BETRAYAL AND CONFUSION YOU FEEL AS A PARENT WHEN YOU FIND OUT YOUR 16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER MADE A GRAVE DECISION AND BETRAYED US ALL. SHE WAS NOT SICK FROM ANYTHING OTHER THAN HER OWN EXTREMLY BAD CHOICE FOR THE DAY.
I HAVE BEEN CALLED SOME PRETTY UGLY THINGS TODAY BY HER THAT ARE HARD TO SWALLOW. TO BE CURSED FOR ACTUALLY CARING. WOW.
I HAVE A CHOICE INTERVEIN AND DO SOMETHING OR DO NOTHING AND THE NEXT TIME SHE WILL NOT BE HERE TO MAKE THAT CALL MOMMY---I GOT SICK TODAY AT SCHOOL.....
wow...is all I can say...
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