Going back to work

Yes, I have been a bad blogger again, I haven't been posting much. BUT... I have been looking for a job and been extremely distracted lately. I am hoping that one positive thing about me going back to work is that my life will become more organized again. Since I have been a stay at home Mom I have never been so disorganized in my life. I don't know what it is. The big push for me to go back to work though was because Chris and I heard of Dave Ramsey. We went out and bought his book and it is actually the first book I have finished in a long long time and it really put a lot of things in perspective for me. Chris and I are tired of just making it along, we want to do something in our lives and for our kids, so we decided that I would go back to work and we would work our way to becoming debt free. It is going to be a long hard road, but we are determined to do it together. We are creating budgets and we are watching what we spend.

So I started looking for a new job 2 weeks ago on a Monday, Chris and I decided that if I didn't get a call back by that Friday that I would go down to a temp agency and get a position there, after all that's how I got all of my other good jobs working for Wamu, ADT, Ameriquest. But low and behold Friday afternoon I get a call for an interview, I have no idea how they get my resume and I know I didn't apply for their job, but what the hey, I went in on the next Tuesday and interviewed. It turned out to be great, more money that I used to make and great hours (7-3:30) so I can still be home with the kids in the afternoons. She told me that I would hear back early the next week (today or yesterday), but she called me back Thursday (on her day off) to ask me if I would accept the position! YEAH YEAH YEAH!!! So I am now an official employee of RWD, they are a contracted training company that works for corporations to do their training and I will be working at the Siemens plant in Huntsville where they build radio's and navigational systems for cars. I don't actually work in the plant, but rather the building in front of it, but I do get to wear a neat white lab coat and go in the plant when need be. Too cool!

Of course the only bad part is... I have to leave my baby boy. For anyone that has been a stay at home Mom before you will understand what I am going through and it is killing me. To think of anyone watching my son besides me just breaks my heart. he is my baby boy, he knows his Mommy, not some stranger, he knows our routine, not someone elses. But I just keep telling myself that I am doing this for him, and for Kya and for Chris, for our family and it will be better in a year, we will be in a much better place in life. And I will drop him off everyday at 6:30 and pick him up at 3:45 and he will be OK.

The hard part has been finding someone that I am comfortable letting watch him. There are daycare centers, home day cares and friends that have offered to watch him for me and I just can't make up my mind. First I went to the centers close to where I will be working... I was shocked! Now I am used to day cares because Kya always went, but when I went in these places I couldn't believe it! No toys, dirty walls, it was bad! So I crossed those off the list. I also contacted the girls in my playgroup to see if anyone would like to watch him. I got 4 offers, 2 of the girls are great, but they live way out of the way so it wouldn't really work out, and 2 of the girls live close to where I will be working. YEAH! I finally decided on Tracy, she has a little boy a little older than Jake and a little girl that was born in 05. She is the paid nursery worker at her church and she used to be a nanny. We decided on an amount and talked over all of the details and all was great, until I went to the daycare around the corner from me. I thought it was great when I went yesterday, it is $40 cheaper than what Tracy wants, they will use my cloth diapers (so will Tracy), they will not drive him around (the only part that bothers me about Tracy watching him) and it seems clean and educational. Well, I went today to spend some time observing the class and teacher and for the hour that I was there the teacher went on and on about how sick all of the kids have been. Keep in mind there were only 6 kids in the class. One little girl went home early yesterday with a 105 fever, well she didn't go home, she went to the ER! One little boy just got back today from being gone for 3 weeks being sick! One just got back today from being gone for a week! Not to mention all of those sickies, I watched her change a babies diaper (well he was 2) and leave him on the changing table butt naked while she walked across the room to get him a diaper! He wasn't strapped in or anything!

Needless to say I left there balling my eyes out. I mean crying harder than I have in a long long time. So now I was left to decide between my friend, $120 a week (or $100 with snacks that I bring), driving him around, watching him in her home with her kids, or $80 daycare center that has the sickies and isn't watching what they are doing. Obviously I am really more comfortable with my friend watching him. One of the girls from BZ told me, if you don't put him where you are comfortable you are going to be miserable all day... and she is totally right about that. I want to be at work knowing he is OK, not be scared to touch him when I pick him up because he has germs and not knowing if she left him somewhere that put him in danger. So I am going to leave him with Tracy until my sister gets out of school for the summer and then her and Kya are going to watch him for me.

Ahhh... just keep breathing Melinda... this will pass... this is all for a good cause... you can do this!

So wish me luck on my new job tomorrow... tomorrow morning will be the hardest I've had yet. I am just so in love with this baby boy it is crazy. I will miss him terribly. :(